Openings

My parents are church-goers; I am not. A few months ago, we had a lovely, calm, open-hearted discussion about this difference between us—lovely because we were able to enter the conversation with curiosity and without judgement, free from the desire to change one another’s beliefs or behaviors.

My parents’ habits have changed over time. Growing up, we attended church inconsistently. Though I recall my father teaching Sunday School when I was very young, there was a long streak of years when we never discussed church, God, or religion - at least that I recall.

After my own period of born-again zealousness in junior high, I took an academic approach in high school and college, reading a lot, studying philosophy of religion, and ultimately finding myself deeply influenced by Joseph Campbell’s work on comparative myths across time and cultures. Mostly away from home by this time, I never really delved into conversation about all this with my folks.

So, fast forward a good 25 years to this lazy day in my parents’ living room, where I inquired with genuine interest, “Why do you go to church every week?”

My father replied, “Because I need to hear the word of God; I need to be surrounded by a community. I struggle with questions of faith. I waver, and I seek the constant reminders that sermons and fellowship provide.” My mother nodded, reaching out for his hand. I was touched by my parents’ honesty, appreciative that they didn’t use the opportunity to proselytize, but rather to just share with love. My mother thanked me for asking.

Now, a few months later, I am immersed in the study of yoga, which is definitely a spiritual and philosophical journey. I find myself avidly reading the Bhagavad Gita, the yoga sutras, works by Buddhist teachers Pema Chodron and Thich Nhat Hanh. I discover myself hungry for these words of wisdom, and I see this study and exploration as an important part of my practice. I read with an open mind, noticing what resonates and exploring my resistances to what does not. I remember my father’s words, and I see that we are far more similar than different.

"Start Where You Are" is the title of one of Pema Chodron’s books - a real gem.